Single and Caffeinated Episode 22: Real Talk for dumb questions about guys
by Megan Harris
Q: What am I supposed to do if I am talking to a guy romantically and he suddenly stops talking to me without warning or explanation?
A: Use your excellent powers of reasoning to assess the situation without making excuses for his shitty and douchy behavior. If he is not communicating anything at all with you, or communicating the bear minimum you should definitely just call him and say, “Hey, I see that you’re kind of being a douche bag, and I realize it is because you want me to call you out for it. Probably because you’re too big of a whiny dickhole to just be out front with me. So here, I will just make it really simple for you: You don’t like me. I don’t like cowardly twats who [start seeing other people/can’t make romantic decisions/don’t care about my feelings] when they see that I clearly have feelings. So see you never. Bye.”
Learn from my mistakes!
Q: My boyfriend won’t let me…[do mundane and generally harmless thing] for [reasons].
A: Break up with him.
Q: I want to make the first move on a guy but I am so painfully awkward how do I do it?
A: Being too awkward to function in normal society myself, I too often share this “questioning your own capabilities of seduction” situation. But speaking from lots of hit and miss experience with such things. Let me just remind you, you are a girl, you are probably a very sexy girl. Girls are hot. [If you do not believe me see: Exhibit A] Put your mouthbox really close to his mouthbox and then see what happens. What is the worst that could happen? He’ll be like, “Oh don’t put your mouthbox there.” And then you can just say, “Oh okay, well I am going to go make out with this guy…so peace brother.”